Passion vs The World

I just realized how important it is to have passion. It seriously is like a flame inside of you which grows when you’re doing something you like. My biggest regret is not fighting for this passion I have for design and giving in to my parents brainwashing business talk. I thought that I would be able to force myself to be interested in business but I just can’t. I absolutely hate it! I have not been so happy staying up working on an ‘assignment’ in so long. I seriously miss design. Too bad I have finished this assignment and I probably wouldn’t get another one for a very long time.

It took me so long to figure out what I had interest in in high school. I wasn’t interested in anything. I hated reading and I hate writing. I guess that is why my grammar is so crap and I have a ‘limited edition’ vocabulary. As for numbers, I liked them… Back in primary and intermediate. I lost interest in math once I was kicked off being the top of my class. As for history, I do have an interest in it but my memory is too bad to remember all the years and events that took place. Plus I was only interested in like myths. Science. I wasn’t very good at it but I did like it. I always thought that I would be too dumb to continue this and this subject never really sparked to me. Art on the other hand.. I was interested, was okay at it (in my own way of course) and most importantly made me feel relaxed and happy no matter how late I stayed up painting (this is just year 11, hated year 13 lol).

Anywho, even though I did ‘hate’ it at one point, there is a difference between this and business. The hate for business is so strong it makes me not only stress but also sad. Yep, no joke. I only enjoy subjects I am good at and well I’m not good at any of this bullshit! It feels like the pressure my parents and now the rest of my family is giving is far too much. I don’t think I can handle this. I cannot balance my life out at the moment. It’s too much for me. I get angry when them or anyone asks about my studies. Seriously I hate it that much. Ahem, so my hate for art was only temporary because well I started hating it because everything was due soon and I was running out of ideas I wanted to perfect everything but I had such little time. In the end I didn’t get to perfect my painting but i did for my design. At the point I needed a break. Didn’t want to see paint or even go near a designing program. But I was fine after the holidays.

Right now.. I would like to go back in time to actually convince my parents to let me do what I want. Such a shame I cannot do that and they probably still wouldn’t listen. Im sure if business had even just one designing hands on practical paper I wouldn’t be so stressed… Maybe I should start a painting and whenever I’m stressed.. Paint a little? Maybe 🙂

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Third night

of skin killing (almost) all nighters!

Kids, do not leave things to the last minute. You will go crazy!

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Pow! Pow! Polaroid baby! ❤

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The most fxcked up thing happened to me today…

So I was on my way home and this lady came and sat next to me on the bus. I was just holding my phone in my hand since I didn’t want to disturb her by putting it in my pocket. So sitting sitting sitting….. bam! Arm comes reaching from my right and you see her trying to take my phone! She didn’t get to touch my phone, I turned to her and gave her the ‘dafuq you doing’ look and of course asking ‘what are you doing’ (with a ‘are-you-stupid’ tone) and well.. she pretty much accused ME of stealing HER phone!

Heres what I remember:
-what are you doing
-give me back my phone!
-this is my phone o.o
-no! give me back my phone you thief!
-this is seriously my phone
-give it! *attempts to snatch phone*
-*pulls away* please can you go away! this is seriously my phone!
Lifesaver from behind comes in and says “what is wrong with you! this phone is this girls! she had it before you even got on this mother fxcking bus! fxck off you homeless bxtch! leave her alone or I will get my boys on to you!!”

She was arguing with him and pretty much ran off the bus at the next stop, I thanked the guy like so much lol! Thank you so much stranger for stepping in and helping me out! I got a feeling she would’ve hit me if I kept talking back.

Truth is.. that lady looked too poor to afford an iPhone and she didn’t smell very nice……………….. yer. I first felt sorry for her since her shoes were broken and she had holes all over her jumper.. but after what happened.. I don’t know how to feel for her.. I just hope i dont see her again O___O

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FML

The fact that I am picky on who to turn to for help is gonna ruin my life. Fxck you econ.

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Last two exams

tomorrow..
making me rage!
Can’t even study..
Hello again pimples

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Happy 19th Birthday HY!

Happy happy birthday to yoooooou! Update tomorrow, too tired kkkkkkkk xD

UPDATE:
So the surprise birthday kidnap was a success thanks to Gary and HY’s mummy 🙂

Process of the present collecting:
So this all started off with a text Gary sent me which pretty much went like this ‘JENNY!! BROCK’S PRESENT!!!!!’ My thoughts were ‘oh god yes can’t think of a decent present!!’ Didn’t say that though…. I think o.o hahaha. Anywho, so we started throwing out ideas and came up with some things he might want and/or would be funny to give him. Gary insisted on chucking a pair of Supra so I (the ultimate ninja) was assigned the task of finding out which one(s) he likes the most. The ones HY liked the most was like either out of stock or the sellers do not have his shoe size. That was ultra frustrating so we moved on to the second pair he liked.. THEY HAD HIS SHOE SIZE :B! So Gary ordered and received tracking number, he emailed me the tracking number and all and this is when HY checked my phone. I used tackle and it was super effective. Hid my phone and secretly checked tracking daily hoping it would come on time. And it did :3

Skipping rope was easy 🙂 walked down when he had a lecture and got it like a ninja.. Actually spent ages in there since Gary was so slow at replying what colour skipping rope to get. Bought some eclairs for myself on the way out :B. This is the same day i got stuck on K’rd. Gary wanted to get HY some jock straps but the sellers on eBay does not ship to NZ. I thoughy ‘well, since I’m here I might as well go look for them -______-‘ BIGGEST REGRET! Went into 4 sexual adult stores and felt mega uncomfortable. Went into one shop that made me feel instantly high.. then made me want to vomit O__O K ROAD IS FRIGGIN’ SCARY! EVEN DURING DAY TIME! IF I HAD BALLS THEY WOULD HAVE DROPPED FOR SURE! NO JOKE! HY I hope you’re touched after reading this. Its like fighting dragons with a bottle of water, SEE THE THINGS I DO FOR YOU!? LOL

The V neck t-shirts, got them from Hallensteins and Cotton On. The ones I got from Hallensteins were easy since they had his size and everything. Made me happy. Oh and they were from Sylvia Park. Went to Cotton on to see if there were anymore nicer ones, there were! A navy and a gray one…. Problem: They only had 2 of the gray ones left, one sized XL and the other S; HY is S but the small shirt was on hold by another customer, that made me fuuuu. So asked them to call up the branch in New Lynn to see if they had any in stock. They did, asked them to put on hold and asked Connie to pick it up with the navy one the day after. And she did 😀

Baseball jacket. Bought from All Out Customs. Gangs store. Went in on Saturday (3 days before HYs birthday) checking the colour and sizes they had. Had a large one on hold hoping it would fit. Had it on hold as I was unsure of his size. Told them I would email the design in that night and asked them to print and I’ll pick up day after. NG. Internet died so couldn’t do it. Went in with the design on Sunday. They said it was too pixelated. Gary found some larger pictures of Geodude and Brock’s face and used those as the picture for the design. Went in Monday morning.. They were not open as they were late. Got design in, said its fine this time. Asked Connie to pick up the jacket for me when its done and buy a big box.

Went to get trucker hat customized to make sure he isn’t suspicious about the surprise. Went to westcity, they said they didn’t have printing machine so had to go to downtown. My thoughts: sweet, I’m going there anyways lalala. Rushed my exam and boosted downtown. Got there, lady told me machine is broken and would take 2 days for them to get it done. His birthday was like the day after. I fuuuu’d and begged for her to make it by tomorrow morning, she called her boss and the boss said he could get it delivered to downtown by noon. I was like no, can I pick it up earlier, she told me St. Lukes I thought: yaaaaaaay bus goes past there anyways :B. So hat was sussed 🙂

Box wasnt big enough. Was planning to fix EVERYTHING (including Supras) in box. But it had to do. Wrapped them when I got home and finally got some rest after my all nighter! 🙂

HY’s Birthday:
Things didn’t go to plan. Got up in time. Caught bus on time. Got to St Lukes on time but, THE FRIGGIN HAT WASNT THERE! IT WAS IN DOWNTOOOOOOWN! Was rushing to the exit when the staff from Jose Eber stopped me and dragged me to get my hair curled. What the actual fxck! Was in a mega rush and you stop me to curlz ma hair!? You crazy mo? He kept giving me discount I felt bad because I was poor and couldn’t afford to get the straightener, he even said he would throw in $20 himself for me.. In the end I got the straightener holder and the case. FXCK YOU GUILTY CONSCIOUS! I like lied to him.. said I’ll come back after seeing how much I spend on a present. Fooled him xD. Actually stopped to curl my hair for 2 hours! No joke. Sat down looked at time, was 10:34am. Left around  12:41pm! I FELT SO BAD FOR MAKING HY WAIT FOR SO LONG T___T!! DIDN’T EVEN CALL HIM AT 12AM!! 😦 anywho, when I got to town, I ran.. In heels from midtown to downtown. Bought some flats on my way down. Got the shoes. Bought a box to put it in and sat down to put hat in box! Ran across the road to Britomart and waited for HY! SIGH OF RELIEF! Went to momotea for lunch and gave him his hat :D. Texted his mum while I was on bus btw xD. So awks o.o. She replied while we were in momotea. Told HY i was cheated on him when I replied text :B made me lol. Went to the Skytower, my very first time.. WAS COOOOOOL! Too bad for the weather though :(. Was really nice up there though 🙂 THANK YOU HY! Took loads of photos! Post up next time ;). Went home. Had dinner. Gary came over, wrapped Supras. Went to HYs after receiving text from HYs mummy telling us they are done. Texted HYs mummy we are there. She made HY come out. In the rain xD! We went back to my house to unwrap presents. Took him ages to unwrap xD too many layers of newspaper trololol. Once he finished, he had to go 😦

And yes, thats about it. Adventurous event. Made me stress more than exams. But was worth it 🙂

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Forever alone

on instagram 😦

If you have instagram please follow me @ irrelevanceandthoughts please :3.

Had to make another account because I forgot password to my other one >__<

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Cat style :B

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